Fact: Winning the Undisputed Championship at WrestleMania X8 and being "that damn good" doesn't make you immune to life's annoyances, and certainly not to smart-alecky interviewers asking questions about your grating ex-spouse. Fortunately for the life and limb of this reporter, among Triple H's many superior qualities are his patience and sense of humor. The Game took time out of his seemingly endless regimen of training and preparation to sit down for this Q&A session with World Wrestling Entertainment Magazine. From matching up against Hollywood Hulk Hogan to how much fun he had administering that devastating Pedigree to his estranged wife, Stephanie McMahon, Triple H answered all questions- from the hardhitting to the lightweight -and showed that the "Cerebral Assassin" can more than handle some decidedly non-cerebral questioning.
WWE Magazine: When you get to the ring, your hair is sopping wet. Why? Aren't you supposed to shower after a match and not before?
WWE: I'm sorry - you're right, it was stupid. Kurt Angle gave me five bucks to ask you that. He can't understand why fans prefer you to a clean-cut, blow-dried guy like himself. He swears you have a severe perspiration problem.
WWE: Hollywood Hulk Hogan said after your match at Backlash, that he may have won the Undisputed Championship, but after fighting you, he considers you the best in the business. What does it mean to you to get a compliment like that from him?
WWE: When you look back on your match with Hogan years from now, how do you think you'll remember it?
WWE: The list of legitimate threats to you has grown dramatically. Besides guys like Austin, The Rock, Angle and Undertaker, you have Hogan, Jericho, the nWo, the returning Chris Benoit, and many others to contend with. Do you feel the heat more now that the stakes have been raised?
WWE: What kind of weird mojo did your estranged wife, Stephanie McMahon, have over you for so long?
WWE: You actually Pedigreed Stephanie at WrestleMania X8. Not that I condone that sort of thing, but after all the crap she put you through, how enjoyable was it?
WWE: Of all the people you've pummeled here, which one gave you the most personal satisfaction? How much fun is it to really pound somebody you truly hate?
WWE: You're on a deserted island with Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, Stephanie and a sledgehammer. Do you take the hammer and start swinging for the fences, or do you brain yourself with it so you don't have to listen to those three anymore?
WWE: When you think of long, agonizing torture, what comes to mind first: rehab for your torn quad or your marriage to Stephanie?
WWE: What's most painful: a paper cut, getting punched in the face, getting kicked in the genitals or listening to Stephanie complain?
WWE: Can you name three things that really annoy you?
WWE: What are "The Game's" three favorite games? Could I kick your ass at Stratego or Parcheesi? Chutes and Ladders, maybe?
WWE: What's the funniest thing that has ever happened to you in the ring?
WWE: What's the last joke somebody played on you?
WWE: If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be?
WWE: Do you have a hidden talent?
Triple H: It's proper etiquette to shower before a match. Most guys today have no respect for their opponents, so they shower after. A lot of my anger in the ring stems from the fact that the other guy usually stinks.
What the hell kind of stupid question is that, anyway? This is what I take time out of my training for, so you can ask me about why my hair is wet?
Triple H: That figures. Kurt has a lot of issues with his manhood. Kurt wouldn't really understand that real men sweat quite often. There are a lot of things about real men that he has no idea about.
Triple H: To get a compliment from a guy like Hollywood Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, or someone like that, a guy who's been in the ring with them all and seen them all... for me to have a guy like Hollywood Hulk Hogan tell me that I'm the best in the business, is the ultimate compliment. And to go out there in front of 20,000 fans in the arena and just light it up with Hogan, that's a compliment too.
Triple H: A highlight. I think that when my career winds down, one of the matches I'll always remember will be the time I whipped Hogan's ass and still lost the belt to him. (Laughs) Just the time I wrestled Hollywood Hulk Hogan in Kansas City at the peak of his comeback. It's like pitching against Babe Ruth. What more can you ask for?
Triple H: Sure. I think the distinct brands of Raw and Smackdown have made the competition that much stronger. As every year goes by, the competition gets tougher and tougher. That's what it's all about. The day the competition gets too tough, that's the day I quit playing the game.
Triple H: She had the mojo that ends up getting all guys in trouble.
Triple H: Oh, that was the highlight. That was almost as good as winning the Undisputed Championship. But having those things happen back-to-back - Pedigreeing Steph and winning the title - all in the space of about five minutes, was like the ultimate Lotto win.
Triple H: That's the best. You enjoy beating up people all the time anyway, but when you beat someone up really badly that you disliked to begin with, that's the best. I live for that. As far as who I'd pick as being the person I enjoyed beating up the most, I'd say it's probably Vince McMahon. I got a great deal of personal satisfaction from punishing him physically. I thoroughly enjoyed that.
Triple H: Even if I started swinging away with the sledgehammer, I wouldn't hit Kurt. He's too naïve and kind of stupid. I could convince him to do things like go up trees and get coconuts, gather water and firewood and things like that. I could make Kurt a sort of slave boy to me.
Who are the other two? Jericho and Steph? I'd just go ahead and hit Jericho and take him out. He's very annoying and he'd be of no use at all. As for Stephanie, I would probably move her to the other side of the island, that way I wouldn't be able to hear her whine all the time. But since it's a deserted island and I might need some mojo, I could drop by when I wanted to.
Triple H: Definitely Stephanie. Her voice. I put in a lot of hours, days, weeks, and months listening to that voice. That definitely qualifies as long and agonizing torture. No one should ever have to go through that.
Triple H: Jeez, that's a tough one. I'd say it's a tossup between getting kicked in the genitals and listening to Stephanie complain. I've been there for both of those, and neither one's a picnic. I honestly can't say which one is more painful- they're both pretty awful.
Triple H: Stupid interviews. You're reminding me of that right now. I had forgotten how much those annoy me. Vince McMahon is another thing that annoys me. And "What?" That really annoys me.
Triple H: If I had time to play games, you could try. Honestly, I have a hard time believing you could kick my ass at anything. I've never really been big into games. I am "The Game," I don't necessarily play games. But now that I'm not married anymore, if I were to play games, it would be things like strip poker and naked Twister- games I could enjoy with some attractive females.
Triple H: The night Al Snow's genitalia became exposed during a suplex in our match. It was a complete accident. My thumb got hooked in Al's trunks and his unit came out. I held him up there for a good 30 seconds before I realized why everybody in the crowd was laughing so hard.
Triple H: I can't even remember. If you keep a sledgehammer with you at all times, people tend not to play jokes on you.
Triple H: Probably the President of the United States. It's the ultimate power. You could do anything you want. Think of all the things you could mess up in one day.
Triple H: I can draw. I'm pretty good at it. That's about it. My other hidden talents probably shouldn't be revealed in a family magazine.